Onion piece on Sen. Toomey would be funnier if life weren't so goddamn bleak
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
So, anybody want to go see Snowpiercer tonight and briefly forget that the world is crumbling around us?
This Onion article about our very own Sen. Pat Toomey would be funnier if it were a little less true:
HARRISBURG, PA—With both sides increasing their initial offers for the prized asset, multinational energy companies ExxonMobil and Chevron Corporation are currently locked in a fierce bidding war to obtain a lucrative Pennsylvania senator, sources confirmed Monday.
Yup. Yup yup yup. Yup yup yup yup. It's cool, though — Toomey's only taken about $450,000 in contributions from oil and gas interests over his political career, as compared to the $1.7 million from Wall Street. God, whatever. It's not like our entire political system isn't now structured around exactly this sort of thing.
So, anybody want to go see Snowpiercer tonight and briefly forget that the world is swiftly crumbling around us? (J/k — definitely already saw Snowpiercer.)
