READ IT: The hysterical story of Haverford's notorious losing streak
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
"I once got hit in the nuts with a lacrosse ball going 90 miles an hour, and I still might be able to have kids. So what are you afraid of?"
Randy W via Flickr Creative Commons
You do not even have to have anything to do with Haverford College to enjoy the hell out of "Haverford Hoops," a long, eminently enjoyable piece by Chris Ballard about the college's Division III basketball team's record-breaking losing streak in the early '90s. It's a couple weeks old, but we missed it when it came out in Sports Illustrated and nobody should miss things like this:
In the locker room at halftime, Hooks ripped into the Fords in a courageous attempt to motivate them. He roared, "Come on! BE MEN! We have 12 players with five fouls each. THAT'S 72 FOULS WE CAN USE!"
Without pausing, Hooks continued: "Why are you afraid to take a charge? Come on ... are you going to let yourself be intimidated by some 25-year old-rapist?" Hooks stared the players down, eyes burning. "I once got hit in the nuts with a lacrosse ball going 90 miles an hour, and I still might be able to have kids. So what are you afraid of?"
(And yes, 12 times 5 is 60.) The whole thing is so damn funny. Just do yourself a favor and go read it now.
