The Zoo tempts fate with Big Cat Crossing
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
"Your hubris astounds me," remarked local tiger Dmitri.
In defiance of all natural laws, the Philadelphia Zoo has built giant habitrails all over the place. Today they unveiled Big Cat Crossing — an elevated steel tube full of tigers.
"This exhibit is 100 percent tiger-proof," said one visibly drunk and terrified zoo keeper. "As long as I don't pull this green lever. Or it might be the red one."
"Your hubris astounds me," remarked local tiger Dmitri, while lazily licking his retractable razor-sharp claws.
