This whole damn town smells like gross trees right now
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
Don't pretend like you don't know what we're talking about.
Bosc d'Anjou via Flickr Creative Commons
Yup, it was just Easter, so it's time for the resurrection of "The Blooming of the Jizz Trees," a quasi-PSA we did about those trees with the white flowers that are making the streets smell like... well, we sat outside asked a bunch of people what that smell was:
"I don't know how to describe it," says a young man with gauges in his ears. "Like ... a mouth, maybe? A mouth smell?"
"They don't smell, they stink!" says the female half of a forty-something couple in sunglasses. "I'd say it's ... really ... musty?" hazards her husband.
"They just smell kind of awful — this happens every April," sighs one pregnant woman. "It's not anything I can ... " her husband pauses. "It's, like a, almost ... kind of a sweet ... a rotting sweet smell?"
(We in fact had an old guy try to get the coffee shop to kick us off their property for asking people that question as they came in — thankfully, the coffee shop thought it was funny.)
The trees are actually called Callery Pears, and in addition to being super stank, they also ruin cars and houses a lot and are a Jurassic Park-style invasive species! Good thing they're so good-looking. Check it out.
