Review: The Expendables 3
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
[Grade: B-] It's silly. It's corny. It's the movie version of a jumbo Slurpee on the stickiest day of the year.
City Paper grade: B-
People who hate fun have placed the success of The Expendables at the center of their cinematic doomsday theories ever since the franchise's launch in 2010. Yes, the formula — aging sluggers with aging fanbases, blowing up buildings and bad guys while creaking around on bum knees — isn't innovative. And yes, every installment forges deeper into a realm of parody no amount of high-end Botox can cloak. But so what? The American action genre has always been profoundly dumb. Why is a full-frontal embrace of as much such an affront to high culture? Watching black-ops ringleader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) round up his band of grumbly killers to accomplish a vague goal — this time, catching war criminal Stonebanks (Mel Gibson, kinda playing himself?) — is predictable yet comfortable, like a pair of gym shorts with grenades laced to the waistband. All the veiny key players (Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Dolph Lundgren) show up for work, with various noobs (Antonio Banderas, Kelsey Grammer, Harrison Ford) and stiff athletes-turned-actors (Victor Ortiz, Ronda Rousey) filling out the bench. This third film, however, has the distinction of being the most self-referential to date, with Wesley Snipes and Arnold Schwarzenegger citing their real-life struggles (tax evasion jokes!) and past hits (Predator quotes!) within the fabric of the very loose, very light script. It's silly. It's corny. It's the movie version of a jumbo Slurpee on the stickiest day of the year. Don't fight it, just let it happen.
