How not to be a jerk while riding your bike

Dear Wheeltalk: Bicyclists can’t win in this town. No matter how I ride, somebody thinks I’m being a jerk. How do I ride without bothering or being bothered?

—Stopped and Bothered

Dear SAB: Philly streets can be tough. To paraphase Matt Damon in Rounders: If you can’t spot the jerk in the first half hour in Philly, then you are the jerk. So thank you for your desire to be decent.

The majority of jerk bicycle behavior stems from four illegal moves: sidewalk riding, wrong-way riding (in streets or bike lanes), running red lights and not yielding to pedestrians at corners and cross-walks. Cut out those behaviors, and you’re in good shape.

But courteous riding is not the same as strictly legal riding. Know the laws, which lands you in the ballpark, and then ride with consideration for others. The Bicycle Coalition posts Philly’s bike laws in clear, easy-to-understand language.

There are also many gray areas. Here’s how I see them:

Riding in the middle of the lane? Legal, non-jerk. 

Buzzing everyone on the Schuylkill River Trail in your quest to hit your optimum heart rate? Legal, jerk. 

Treating stop signs like yield signs? Illegal, non-jerk. 

Rolling through stop signs or red lights and forcing pedestrians to dive for cover? Illegal, jerk.

You might hear jerk bicycling dressed up as “savvy bicycling.” But “savvy” is often a cover for traveling like everyone else is an idiot in your way, not entitled to their space or their pace. This applies to walking, biking and driving (probably sailing and hot-air ballooning, too).

If you encounter such jerks, stand up for your rights, but don’t escalate; you will lose the escalation battle.

But no, you say, you’re a big Aaron Burr fan and offended honor demands satisfaction, Mr. Hamilton! Fine, here’s what you do: Ride the South Street Bridge some Friday at 5 p.m. and check out the bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-76. There’s your satisfaction.