The Bell Curve: Our weekly quality-of-life-o-meter
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
Now with useful links!
[-4] The majority of the Maurice Sendak collection, currently housed in the Rosenbach Museum in Rittenhouse Square, will be moved to create a Sendak Museum in Connecticut. You trying to Barnes us, Connecticut? We invented Barnesing. We Barnesed Barnes. We Barnesed Barnes!
[-1] Urban Outfitters again causes controversy with one of its products, this time a fake-blood-spattered Kent State sweatshirt. “We are truly, deeply sorry,” says UO repre-
sentative, “that we still have not unveiled our 9/11 adult onesie collection. In the meantime, check out these Ebola-themed booty shorts. If you look closely, you’ll notice we found a way to make them racist.”
[-3] The Darby Free Library, the oldest continuously operated public library in the country, faces possible closure due to budget cuts. And the Internet.
[+1] The Pennsylvania Prostate Cancer Coalition launches the “Don’t Fear the Finger” campaign, featuring bus ads and giant foam fingers. Yeah, see, making the finger that big is kind of a turnoff. We might be into the foam, though.
[-1] SugarHouse takes 63 gamblers to court for failing to repay $520,000 in markers, or “casino loans.” The defense argues that the money was returned to the casino “pretty much immediately.”
[+2] Franklin Mills has been renamed Philadelphia Mills and will undergo a multimillion dollar
overhaul that includes skylights and landscaping. Except for the Western Annex, which will remain under possum control as per the Treaty of 1998.
[-1] Fans rally to support South Philly wrestler Ophidian The Cobra after his mask and other possessions are stolen from his front porch. “I suspect this is the handiwork of my arch-nemesis/roommate Orpheus The Mongoose! He is always pulling shit like this because I forget to fill the Brita sometimes.”
This week’s total: -7 | Last week’s total: +11
