The Bell Curve: When news breaks, we make jokes
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
[-3] According to Paul Levy of Center City District, Philadelphia’s job creation has been comparable to Detroit’s over the last 40 years. Well, that sounds OK. Let’s just do a Google Image search to see how Detroit is doing — OH MY GOD. What happened? Was there a war?
[+2] Scientists decode the genes of a strain of cholera using intestines kept in a jar at the Mütter Museum since 1849. And that’s how a scientist got ghost cholera.
[-1] The son of a former ball boy for the 76ers says his dad used to taste-test Wilt Chamberlain’s soda to make sure it wasn’t poisoned. And that’s how a ball boy got super-herpes.
[+1] Philadelphia Brewing Company announces it will now accept Bitcoins, becoming the first American brewery to do so. But you can only use it to buy Kenzinger’s Cat — world’s first-ever open-source beer. The price and recipe may vary greatly, and you’re just going to have to trust them that it actually exists.
[-7] Budgets cuts at Philly high schools have left them with too few guidance counselors, damaging students’ college prospects, especially low-income and black students. But, hey, our municipal bonds are getting straight A’s.
[-1] Some are saying Molly Schuyler — a 125-pound Nebraska mother of four — is a favorite to win this year’s Wing Bowl since she recently ate a 72-ounce steak in under three minutes. Win or lose, smothered in wing sauce and chicken fat and barf, she’ll still be the most respectable woman in the building.
[+2] As part of an effort to battle income inequality, President Obama designates a section of West Philly a “Promise Zone.” It’s a step up from the old designations: “Has A Great Personality Zone” and “Butterschools.”
This week’s total: -8 | Last week’s total: -7
