The Bell Curve: When news breaks, we make jokes
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
Hall and Oates will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Says Daryl Hall: "Today, I consider John Oates the luckiest man on the face of the earth."
[+5] Hall and Oates will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Says Daryl Hall: “Today, I consider John Oates the luckiest man on the face of the earth."
[-3] Cedarbrook Middle School in Cheltenham announces it will finally close after a decade-long battle with mold. “You know, a lot of people told me this couldn’t be done,” says mold. “Stick to bread, they said. Know your place, they said. Well, today I’m proud to say that I am mold and my place is everywhere.”
[-1] Philly-based Urban Outfitters stops selling its controversial socks depicting the Hindu god Ganesh and apologizes. “But the four-pack of Vishnu mittens is staying, because how clever is that?”
[-1] A thief is seen on video spending 45 minutes firing a slingshot at the glass door of a Manayunk store so he could break in and steal $120 and a box of cigars. “Can’t wait to light one of these babies up,” he says, looking for two sticks.
[0] After 20 years, popular radio station B101 FM announced it will change its name to MoreFM. If you like, you may still pretend that Teri Garr comes to Philly just to listen to the radio.
[-2] According to a new study, five of the 10 most dangerous intersections for bicyclists are on Broad Street. Drivers, meanwhile, say they’ve never had any trouble at those intersections.
[+1] The Mütter Museum launches the Save Our Skulls program, wherein people can sponsor the skulls in its collection to provide for their upkeep. For a smaller donation, they will promise not to clean the Soap Lady.
[+4] Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey says the city is on pace to have the fewest murders since 1967. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the farm to count my chickens which, while they have not yet hatched, are bound to do so quite soon.”
This week’s total: +3 | Last week’s total: -16
