Ask Papa

Ask Papa: Ernest Hemingway answers your questions

Nothing can speed up the work of craftsmen.

We Must Entertain Ourselves

Dear Papa: I hired a contractor to fix some problems in my house. He took my deposit and despite several serious talks over the last few months, continues to work at a snail’s pace. What should I do? —Tooled in Taney

Dear Tooled: Another stern word will not do the work for you. Every time their tools are silent, you must walk into their workspace and sweep their supplies to the floor without speaking. Look each one in the eye as if to say, “How dare you,” so they feel the shame of their idleness. Or, you can realize that nothing can speed up the work of craftsmen, and even a grand response will only make them laugh at you behind your back. Take some time to hire a boat. Go fishing for a few months. When you return and the work is not done, you can hire a new contractor. —Papa

Dear Papa: During the two years I’ve worked at the same office, I have experienced roughly seven intense and distracting crushes — all of which proved to be dead ends. Dating is not unheard of among my co-workers, so I suspect my heart has chosen unwisely. I think it’s time; how should I put the brakes on work crushes? —Crushed in Chesterbrook

Dear Crushed: There are no such things as crushes. There is love, there is the cold void where love once was, and there is how we feel when we are bored and we must entertain ourselves. I suspect that you are not falling in love with seven people, and you are too weighed with feeling to be dead inside. Find something besides another corporate cog for amusement. Hire a boat and go fishing. Spend a few nights in a cabin. Take up crochet, or drinking. Or watch a TV show. I’m a fan of Parks and Recreation. It makes me laugh. —Papa