Ask Papa: Keep your friends close and your Faulkners closer
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
We both know Zelda would have been a terror if she knew you were popping into every speakeasy in Manhattan without her.
Dear Papa: There are some people I don’t like: Generally, people more successful than me creatively, people who don’t seem to worry about what other people are thinking and people who go on and on at parties about some TV show I haven’t seen yet. Of course, there are specific people within those groups I really don’t like — well, really one person, a real braggadocio, a huge windbag and basically a bully. I really hate this guy, even consider him my enemy, but there’s one problem: My wife says being “enemies” requires mutuality, and this guy is so self-centered that he probably can’t even imagine I don’t like him. So, what do you think? Is he my enemy? —Enemy on Arch
Dear Enemy: F. Scott, friend, I know you’re still mad at me for interrupting that conversation between you and Dotty the last time we were in New York, but we both know Zelda would have been a terror if she knew you were popping into every speakeasy in Manhattan without her. Plus, one more of those bathtub martinis and I wasn’t sure you’d ever see straight again. I can tell you’re still a little wound up about the whole thing, but you should really stop venting so publicly. Don’t let it get you down, you squeaky little penman, you! We’re still buddies! Unless you’re talking about Faulkner, in which case, that guy is a real asshole, isn’t he? —Papa
Dear Papa: Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? What are they? —Merion Mummer
Dear Mummer: I’m going to stop and smell the roses. —Papa
