How one film in the upcoming Women’s Film Festival helped its creator heal
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
In "Reasons I Want to Recover," which can be viewed on YouTube and will also be one of the films showcased in the upcoming first annual "Women's Film Festival: Showcasing the Bad-Ass Side of Women" at the Ethical Society of Philadelphia, Tess Kunik makes herself the focus of scenes that speak to the emotional struggles of disordered eating.
Angela Manfredonia in artist Tess Kunik’s film, 'Reasons I Want to Recover,' featured in the Women’s Film Festival this month.
Tess Kunik
Tess Kunik
It wasn’t until she created a 25-minute long film about eating disorders that Tess Kunik realized the impact of her grandmother’s voice.
Kunik, 24, a local artist, actress and UArts graduate, dove into filmmaking only about eight months ago. She got her start making promo videos for a Fringe Festival show she co-produced last year, Mad Blood and Other Beauties. Her most recent film, Reasons I Want to Recover, features Kunik and several other young women expressing through movement, music, writing and more their connections to the pain and struggle of eating disorders.
The film will be part of a local festival later this month — more on that later. Kunik calls it a work in progress, and says she’s looking for more people to share their stories for the film.
Kunik’s grandmother is one of the voiceovers in the film — Ann Hill Beuf was the first director of women’s studies at UPenn and had been studying anorexia. She died when Kunik was very young.
“My mom found this radio interview of her about a year ago. … I didn’t really take it in [then] like I did when I found it again this year,” Kunik says. It was only about six months ago that Kunik says she acknowledged her own disordered eating patterns, and began to go to group therapy.
“When I decided to make this film, I remembered this interview. It was exactly what I needed,” she says.
In the film, Kunik’s grandmother says, “They [anorexics] have incredible compulsions about talking about food, looking at pictures of food, concern with weight, self measurement, getting a little bit smaller every day.”
And with the phrase “getting a little bit smaller every day,” repeating over and over, the film cuts to Kunik manically writing a series of numbers — weights — on a pad. As her grandmother’s phrase repeats, the scene transforms into a grid, the one image duplicating into nine, then 25, then 49 and more.
Kunik says it’s one of her favorite scenes in the film.
In Reasons I Want to Recover, which can be viewed on YouTube and will also be one of the films showcased in the upcoming first annual “Women’s Film Festival: Showcasing the Bad-Ass Side of Women” at the Ethical Society of Philadelphia, Kunik makes herself the focus of scenes that speak to the emotional struggles of disordered eating.
In one scene, she crams a doughnut into her mouth, wild-eyed. In another, she grabs at the skin of her stomach while lowering herself into a cardboard box. In another, she’s duct-taped to a chair in her underwear, sitting in front of the fridge — powerless in the presence of food.
Other women in the film — Kunik’s friends, local artists, all people “who have suffered, who watched their loved ones suffer,” she says — are filmed doing things that Kunik says express their individual connection to their struggle.
One woman, Angela Manfredonia, smears peanut butter, jelly and sprinkles on her face. Campbell O’Hare, dances in a kitchen while stomping on cupcakes.
Kunik’s 15-year-old sister Olivia sings an original song while playing piano. The tune is perky and upbeat, but the lyrics are heart wrenching:
“Stomach rumbles/ You skip a meal/ Because you know that nothing tastes as a good as skinny feels.”
And, “Give away a sandwich and chips because a minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips/Eat one damn thing and hurl/ Because you know boys don’t like fat girls.”
The subject of Kunik’s film is one she believes many women — and men — relate to. That sense of connection is at the heart of the “Women’s Film Festival.”
Layne Marie Williams, who co-created the festival with Phuong Nguyen, says she plans to make it an annual event. This year, there are 18 films in the festival by local female filmmakers; the films focus on topics like relationships, sexual assault, women in the workplace, catcalling and religion.
As far as a filmmaking scene in Philly, Williams says “There is little to none.” There’s a need, she says, “for a women’s film festival that [gives] women of any background the chance to be showcased in a truly empowering light. We hope that people walk away from the festival feeling enlightened, touched or perhaps even healed.”
Kunik says that’s what her film has done for her; she says making the film was very difficult but also extremely liberating.
“In a way, [the film] made me look [at myself] objectively, and see myself and realize what I see in the mirror isn’t always right,” she says. “It absolutely helped me in how I see myself.”
Women’s Film Festival, March 27-29, Ethical Society of Philadelphia, 1906 Rittenhouse Square, thewomensfilmfestival.org.
