Snapshots from the season finale of CHIKARA Pro Wrestling
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
Eating raw onions with Oleg the Usurper.
.jpg)
CHIKARA, a Philly-based professional wrestling promotion, cuts the bull and bills itself as “performance art.” Though the much-hyped storyline is rather skeletal, the wrestling itself is superb. Seven matches took place on Saturday’s season finale, Tomorrow Never Dies, at the 2300 Arena.
I caught up with performer Oleg the Usurper during the intermission. Or rather, Oleg the Usurper caught up with me. He tugged on my ponytail and demanded a Viking handshake, whereupon we grabbed each other’s forearms. Then he dragged me to his merch table, where he informed me that we would be eating raw onions together. Then he pulled out two unpeeled onions from his bag. Then three teenage girls reflexively started recording us on their smart phones.
Oleg the Usurper: [gesturing to the girls] Look at these lovely ladies, they are going to watch you!
City Paper: I don’t think so.
OtU: Together, brother.
CP: Nope.
OtU: We’re going to do a countdown, yes?
Anonymous Teenage Girl: [to City Paper] If you won’t do it, I will.
CP: [extending onion] Go ahead.
OtU: One. . . Two. . . Three!
The girl spit up her bite of onion; the Usurper did not.
Not all the wrestlers hammed it up off stage, though. After the final fight—a steel cage match—I talked with the winner, Icarus, about his defeat of Deucalion. Icarus was decidedly down to earth, which makes sense given his namesake.
CP: How are you feeling?
Icarus: Beat up. My back hurts, my ankle hurts. I was nervous. I got in there and I tried to lean against the cage, but I started shaking so bad I had to stand up.
Dasher Hatfield: [chiming in] I’d have never gone in there man, you’re a much braver man than I am.
I: And adrenaline’s there, so you can fight through it. But once the adrenaline goes. . . Everywhere I got hit hurts.
CP: What was your strategy tonight?
Dasher Hatfield: [chiming in] Live!
I: [laughs] Um, it was more just survive. It was more of a survival. Just, survive longer than the other person. I might be faster, but he’s fast. He’s strong… So it was just. . . survive.
CP: Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?
I: Now that today is over, I’m going to blow off all dieting. So my New Year’s resolution is to get back on my diet after the next three weeks.
DH: [chiming in] You want to go to a buffet?
I: And I want to do something on my bucket list—I can’t remember what it was. . .
DH: . . . one of those places where they just keep bringing you meat. . .
I: Oh, I want to travel! I want to go to Europe.
