Forget the Pakistani girl getting the medal for bravery, what about the rich blond girl whose patrioti-pop song got cut from the ceremony?

You've probably heard of Malala Yousafzai, youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize for her advocacy of the education of girls worldwide. But have you read THE SAGA OF THE TEENAGE DAUGHTER OF A RICH FRIEND OF ED RENDELL WHOSE SONG GOT CUT FROM AN AWARDS CEREMONY FOR MALALA? Because it is hilarious.

When Malala Yousafzai accepted the Liberty Medal at the National Constitution Center last week, one thing was missing from the ceremony:

A scheduled videotape performance by 14-year-old pop singer Ayla Potamkin, a Colorado girl with deep Philadelphia roots, who wrote a song to honor the 17-year-old Pakistani human-rights activist.

Advisers to Yousafzai, people familiar with the matter said, insisted that the song be struck from the event, telling Constitution Center officials that its ardently pro-America theme was offensive and insensitive to other nations.

Malala has been through a lot:

Malala was shot in the face by a Taliban gunman in 2012 because she worked to see that girls as well as boys get an education. Since recovering in England, she has become an international force for education and girls' rights.

Ayla has also been through a lot:

"It was unfortunate," said former Gov. Ed Rendell, vice chairman of the center's board of trustees. "And I think it broke Ayla's heart."

So the extremely long Inquirer article on this non-issue didn't even embed a video of the song, so I obviously had to track one down. It's kind of like "Friday," but more earnest and better sung. Interestingly, if you look at the comments on this video, someone appears to have paid for it to play before other YouTube videos as an ad:

The chorus:

I'm so lucky to live in America

I'm so lucky to live where I can make a change

I'm so lucky to live in America

Where the hope is free

Where the kids are safe 

Where I can just be me

OK, so if you couldn't make it through the whole thing, the key theme running through it is "I." (She says "I," "me" or "my" more than 30 times.) There is actually a picture of Malala at 1:50 and at the end, but outside of your knowing ahead of time who that is and what she's famous for, you would be very confused.

Regardless of the intentions of the teenage songwriter, the song comes across as being entirely about the singer and how awesome America is specifically in relation to other countries. 

As in: "I'm so lucky to live where the grass is green," as if the inferior grass of other countries is exclusively brown and dingy.

As in: "I'm safe, and it matters what I say / here, in the U.S.A."

I actually feel pretty bad for the 14-year-old, who seems extremely earnest in her admiration of Malala. Few high-school freshmen have a great understanding of how even well-intentioned actions can come off badly to people of different backgrounds, and it has got to suck to come to that realization in such a high-profile way. 

What's insane is how many grown adults doubled down on taking something that's supposed to be about a Pakistani girl who risked death to advocate for education and instead making it all about them: 

By the time Malala received the gold medal, draping its red, white, and blue ribbon around her neck, many of the 20 members of the Potamkin party had already departed, upset by the course of events.

And:

[Lawyer, family friend and veteran newspaper-suer Richard] Sprague said it was impossible to square the Constitution Center's commitment to teaching free speech with its decision to pull the video.

"The Constitution Center, it's there to support and praise our history and the Constitution and the Bill of Rights," he said. "Accepting a statement that we're not going to permit a song because it's offensive and praises America - that goes against everything that center should stand for."

Anyway, just go read the Inquirer article, there's more quotes like that and they are far more hilarious on their own than anything I could write making fun of them.