The Bell Curve: Our weekly quality-of-life-o-meter
Please note: This article is published as an archive copy from Philadelphia City Paper. My City Paper is not affiliated with Philadelphia City Paper. Philadelphia City Paper was an alternative weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The last edition was published on October 8, 2015.
Next come the welders to construct a skeleton of steel, unobtanium and hubris.
[-3] After 14 years with the Phillies, shortstop Jimmy Rollins is traded to the L.A. Dodgers. “I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged,” Chooch writes in his diary. “Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”
[0] Four hundred cement trucks pour 4,000 yards of concrete over 12 hours to create the foundation for the Comcast Innovation and Technology tower. Next come the welders to construct a skeleton of steel, unobtanium and hubris.
[+2] The city drops its eminent domain case against West Philly artist James Dupree, which would have replaced his studio with a supermarket. His latest installation, by the way, is a life-size replica of a working supermarket.
[-2] Comcast admits it accidentally charged its subscribers an “unintended fee” and will refund the money. Customers with complaints are offered a free swim in the company’s luxurious new cement pool.
[0] Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey complains that a political cartoon in the Bucks County Courier Times — in which children ask Santa for protection from the police — is in poor taste. “Furthermore,” says Ramsey, “Marmaduke needs to be leashed, Prince Valiant’s overdue for a civil forfeiture and I’m tired of sending officers out to separate the Lockhorns.”
[-4] The Inquirer reports that Philly police have been lax in enforcing traffic laws, often failing to arrest drivers with outstanding warrants, sometimes leading to tragic accidents by repeat offenders. “Funky Winkerbean sucks,” says Commissioner Ramsey.
This week’s total: -7 | Last week’s total: 0
